Fusion 360: CAD Diss Track
I opened Onshape once—yeah, once—and instantly aged ten years, My screen groaned like, “Why, dear user, why bring me such tears?” It loaded like a snail who never learned to crawl, Fusion swooped in like a hero sayin’, “Don’t worry, I’ll save it all.” (Pre-Chorus) Onshape gave me warning popups, popups gave me dread, Fusion gave me beauty, like CAD angels overhead. Onshape tried to flex, but tripped right on its face— Fusion strutted in and said, “Allow me to erase… this disgrace.” (Chorus) Oh Fusion 360, you glorious glowing throne, Onshape’s like a haunted office printer that moans and groans. Your lofts are poetry, your renders steal the show— And Onshape? Onshape is the 404 error of my soul. (Verse 2) I clicked “Extrude” in Onshape—boom—everything went wrong, It felt like wrestling goblins in a maze twelve miles long. Fusion whispered, “Baby, come back, let’s fix that tragic scene,” And suddenly my model looked like something crisp and clean. (Pre-Chorus) Onshape’s UI be lookin’ like a spreadsheet lost in space, Fusion’s interface be lookin’ like a warm artistic embrace. Onshape tried to compete, but tripped on its own shoe— Fusion didn’t even try; it just automatically… outdid you. (Chorus) Oh Fusion 360, you’re a sculpting superstar, Onshape feels like designing blueprints on a rental car. Fusion’s flow is magic, with that buttery pro-level glow— And Onshape? Onshape is the CAD equivalent of saying “uhh… no.” (Bridge — Epic, Overdramatic) Onshape’s not evil, it’s just… dramatically confused, Like a sidekick who keeps sayin’, “Boss, did I do that right?” and gets refused. Fusion sits on the mountaintop crafting sunsets out of splines, While Onshape struggles downstairs tryin’ to color inside the lines. (Final Chorus) Fusion 360, you’re the king of every scene, Onshape is the dream I wake up from, sweaty, yellin’, “NO, I JUST WANT MY DESIGN CLEAN!” Fusion blasts like fireworks, Onshape flickers like a dying glow— Yeah Fusion, Fusion, Fusion… And Onshape? Bless its heart… but it’s the CAD world’s comic relief show. If you want, I can make: 🔥 a full diss track 🎸 a punk rock meltdown 😈 an “Onshape is my arch-nemesis” villain monologue 🚀 a space opera battle where Fusion wins a galactic war Just tell me the style! You said: a diss track please ChatGPT said: Alright—here’s a full-on diss track, but fully fictional, comedic, and exaggerated so we’re not making real-world claims—just going absolutely cartoon-level petty. Think of this as the CAD equivalent of a rap battle in a Saturday morning cartoon. 🎤🔥 “FUSION DISS ONSHAPE (The Timeline Takedown)” (A Fictional, Over-the-Top CAD Diss Track) [Intro] Yo… Fusion 360 in the booth… Onshape, don’t take this personal— Actually nah, take it VERY personal. Let’s go. [Verse 1] I opened Onshape once—regretted it instantly, Interface lookin’ like it’s stuck in elementary. Fusion on my screen? That’s royalty, majesty— Onshape just vibes with low-efficiency energy. Tryna sketch in Onshape, man, what a mistake, Every constraint feelin’ like a two-hour heartbreak. Fusion shows up like, “Hey dawg, you need a real tool?” Meanwhile Onshape’s in the corner playin’ ‘I swear I’m cool!’ [Hook] Fusion in my veins, Onshape in the trash, Fusion makin’ masterpieces, Onshape makin’ crash. Timeline clean—Onshape lookin’ like a bug parade, Fusion 360 droppin’ heat, and Onshape just gets slayed. [Verse 2] Onshape talkin’ tough but its features never land, Fusion flexin’ lofts so smooth you’d think they’re pre-planned. Onshape tryna fight? It’s a mismatch, bro— Fusion builds a whole assembly while you still loadin’ the window. You brag about browser-based? Nah, that ain’t the flex, I need power, precision—not your “let me refresh.” Fusion got CAM, sim, render—yeah, the whole buffet, Onshape showin’ up like, “I brought… sketches… okay?” [Hook] Fusion’s on fire, Onshape’s lukewarm, Fusion’s a masterpiece, Onshape’s a draft form. Fusion takin’ names while the crowd goes wild, Onshape sittin’ there like a confused CAD child. [Bridge] Yo Onshape— I’m not sayin’ you’re useless… Nah wait… in this song, I am sayin’ you’re useless. All fiction though. Don’t cry. But seriously—Fusion’s the one that people choose, You’re the CAD app they try once… then instantly refuse. [Verse 3 – Final Blow] Fusion’s got swagger, you got outdated flair, Fusion is a rocket ship, you’re tryna climb stairs. Fusion’s interface smooth, your UI lookin’ lost, Fusion’s the boss battle—you’re the tutorial tossed. Fusion 360’s kingdom—yeah, it rules the domain, Onshape tries to challenge but forgets half its game. Fusion drops features like mic drops—boom— Onshape’s biggest update is “we fixed a button in June.” [Final Hook] Fusion with the crown, Onshape with the frown, Fusion runnin’ laps while you still break down. Fusion 360—king of this CAD rap, Onshape… take a seat— you just got overlapped.
