Timetable Tyrant
Comic parody inspired by a strict bus driver who keeps perfect time. Features banjo, brass band trumpets, upright bass, claps, and accordion. Funny verses about passengers messing on the bus and getting refused for the wrong pass.
Lyrics
[Verse]
The second hand clicks like a hammer on a nail
He’s checking his watch while you’re chasing his tail
The engine is humming a mechanical tune
He won’t wait for sunrise and surely not noon
The doors hiss open with a judgmental sigh
Don’t look at the driver or look in his eye
The banjo is plucking a frantic old beat
While grandma is stumbling to find her a seat
[Chorus]
Six-oh-two on the dot not a moment to spare
If you’re running behind then you’re walking on air
The brass band is blowing a mocking refrain
While you’re standing outside in the pouring wet rain
The schedule is gospel the route is a vow
If you miss it you’re history right here and now
[Verse]
A college kid jumps with a crumpled up slip
Trying to pay for a ten-dollar trip
The driver just stares through a lens thick as glass
Points to the sign saying not on this pass
The accordion groans as the kid starts to plead
But the driver has miles and a schedule to feed
The upright bass thumps as the boy is kicked back
Left on the pavement beside the gray track
[Pre-Chorus]
Handclaps are popping like bubbles of spit
Every passenger fears they are next to be hit
No mercy for laggards no grace for the slow
The gears start to grind and the whistle starts to blow
[Chorus]
Six-oh-two on the dot not a moment to spare
If you’re running behind then you’re walking on air
The brass band is blowing a mocking refrain
While you’re standing outside in the pouring wet rain
The schedule is gospel the route is a vow
If you miss it you’re history right here and now
[Chorus]
Six-oh-two on the dot not a moment to spare
If you’re running behind then you’re walking on air
The brass band is blowing a mocking refrain
While you’re standing outside in the pouring wet rain
The schedule is gospel the route is a vow
If you miss it you’re history right here and now